Legends of Belariath

Weeping Whisper

Into the depths... - Introduction

She speaks to me... in shadows, in the fires... she caresses me like no other can... she protects me... she cures my ailments.. she loves me... In my dark secret place, she finds me, and she consoles me. To her I am devoted like no other. I am her's. I do for her what she cannot, she does for me likewise... A purpose she gives me... she gives me hope, peace of mind... a sense of.. wholeness.. of being. My mother, Lady Death.

Child of Darkness - Part 1

I was born to this world thinking myself alone. A whisper of a child, with a raped drow for a mother who was quick to be rid of me before I even opened my eyes to the world... the magic she used to do away with me killed her, or so I am told. Dread wings are the mark I bear of my heritage, and for my survival... But it was not my time. A band of outlaws found me, and despite my appearances, and my obvious heritage... they took me in and raised me. Outlaws of every size and shape were there to raise me... they trained me to fight, what to expect fromt he world... they showed me slavery, pain, sex, 'love,' and most of all... they showed me death. Thieving, plundering, raping... and I was with them as they did it, whether it was along the paths through some dark gloomy forest, or a crazed raid on some town. I recall my first kill... I killed another child with the small knife I had been given. The bandits asked me how I felt.

"I feel good."

"Whaddaya mean ya feel good?"

"I never feel good."

It was true. Rarely does a smile come to me, nor the happiness people speak so often of. But when that poor child lay before me, asleep and passed from this realm, a strange feeling came over me that I cannot explain. It wasn't too soon after, however, when I came to notice something about myself that left me rather perplexed.

"How come there's no one else like me?" We'd raided many races, the outlaws were composed of many races.

"Whatcha talkin' about, kid? There's plenty of us here." replied a chirot. I looked at my wings, and a small mirror showed me to be different... obviously more elvish looking than the chirots about me, though they were not displeasing to the eyes.

"You're different from me..." was my reply. And a hush fell amongst the outlaws, after all, they could only guess at my heritage. At least, that's how it seemed. It was one of the elders of the group, a magic user, that informed me of my mother, whom in her need to kill me, had in turn been killed by the outlaw who was performing the magic, and by no fault. He had no qualms with telling me he killed and looted my mother. When asked why, he said it was something in my eyes.

It wasn't long before my 'family' had a bad turn of luck, caught in an ambush involving a wealthy caravan. Knights, soldiers, warriors, rangers... they all seemed to stream in from every angle as we ourselves found our hands covered in blood with not a coin to speak for it, and only to find that even the blood was false later. A mockery. We were bound, though the youngers of the band were not much mistreated. We were not blamed, you see, because we were 'innocent' and simply 'didn't know better.' Still, we were forced to watch the various ways our 'parents' were put to death... Hmmm, let's see.

One was burned to death. Another was beaten by peasants, bound and gagged until he stopped breathing. There was another who got the stones, piled one by one atop his chest until he was crushed beneath them. There was the one whose insides were carved out while he screamed for mercy. It was a very artistic way of punishing the band, rather than simply throwing them into one big bonfire or some such. Though a few did get buried, screaming, in a mass grave. But I'm starting to ramble. On with my tale.

Needless to say, for the first time, death actually brought some pain to me. I couldn't understand my loss, that with the passing of those outlaws, it was time for me to grow beyond their petty gold and trinkets. As my fellow peers and I were carted away, I found that my voice, once loud and even somewhat cheerful, despite my lack of a smile, had dropped to a mere whisper, and for the life of me, I could no longer shout. My whispering was easily heard, strangely enough, but I simply cannot shout. I wept, for what was gone, until I could not weep anymore. That was when I heard my first whispering prayers answered, in that dusty, pissy, shitty caravan, watching my peers sold and collared or dropped off at orphanages where rats snuck in the front door.

A voice, sweet and comforting, came to me, as I cried out to whomever would listen. "Why am I alive?!" I would cry... "Because you are stronger." something replied. I didn't understand, but something had replied... a woman's voice, that strangely no one else heard.

"Why did they have to die...?" I queried.

"It was their time." she replied. I fell silent, for urely, I must have been going insane. When I fell silent, so did the voice, leaving my thoughts free to ponder even as my peers moved to the other side of the caravan. That is, most of them did. A few were already dead from disease, and a few felt strangely compelled to stay at my side. When the caravan finally arrived at the orphanage I was to stay at, it was as though fate had decided they were to be mine, for the children that had stayed near were dropped off there as well. Including the dead fools who were carted away. It was later I heard that the caravan had left the city only to be ripped to shreds by ogres. Someone was watching me, though I felt it more of a curse.

The orhpanage we stayed at was no home. It was barely livable, half of the children crawling about and dying, the others tending to disappear and never to return nightly. My band, that is, the children who had stayed with me from the caravan, began to stake out our own terrain about the building, fending off rats and dying fools as we scavenged and defended our own food and beds to sleep in. The few nurses about did nothing to stop us, though there was one who cared, not for the band, but for me. Always watching me from afar, until I finally approached her. She helped me, helped us, in fact, on our daily errands to go about stealing and scavenging, for we knew not what else we could do to live, watching the other children, who knew no better, cling to the other nurses' teats and wither away. We grew up killing and robbing, we continued such. In our prowling the secret areas of the orphanage, it wasn't long until we discovered why children disappeared in the middle of the night.

Some died and were simply carted away along with the occasionaly nurse. Watching from the shadows, we observed men, depraved and sickening, sneaking into the building and raping children, sometimes killing them, sometimes taking them away to have their ways with them. We had no clue how long this had been going on, and we decided we would do nothing about it, as long as we could avoid it. After all, if those children couldn't stand up for themselves, then they deserved it. Those that survived and remained tended to fall by our hand, put out of their misery.

One night, we found many men approaching, and a few women as well... many of the sick depraved men from before amongst them. It did not bode well for the orphanage, and the nurses rushed about, some leaving the orphanage to its' fate, others trying to direct children about. My band and I stuck together, hanging about the rooms near the back of the orphanage, trying to find suitable places to stand up to the men or hide. The nurse, Sally she was named, approached me, and we almost struck her, but I called off the strike, frowning at the foolishness... she smiled, and told me a good hiding place. A closet, near the back. I was to remain silent there, and I would be undiscovered. Sally's voice sounded like the whispers... the voice that had spoke to me... and I realized I was being instructed, not by some petty nurse, but by something more. So it was to the closet I went, to hide, as my band took to their own decided hiding spots and places to fight, wielding knives, stakes ripped fromt he beds, whatever could be found.

This was the orphanage's last night though, for this time the men were determined to strip it clean, and take what was wanted for themselves, and simply burn the rest. Apparently, someone had went to the guards, and the men were determined to take what they could before leaving town with it. The orphanage was raided, men leaping in through windows, streaming in from the doors... all I heard were noises, and the sight of blood slipping beneath the doorway as moaning, screaming, and crying filled the air. I crouched there, shivering, covering my ears, until one voice came to my ears, that inspired a strange fire in me... Sally. I heard her moan and cry out, and the closet's doors were thrown open, as I, like a fool, forgot the final instructions. For once, my voice thundered as I screamed at the men who had her surrounded, beaten and bleeding even as they raped her. Someone had started fires about the room, and most of my band had fled, though a few were dead at the closet door... it had been their blood.

Some of the men were quick to grab me, though a few lost a good number of fingers... Sally glared at me even in her final moments, and I was struck by a sudden cold, paralyzing fear... I was to be punished for disobeying. And the men were to be the punishers. A glass bottle was grabbed, shattered, and telekinetics sent many glass shards hovering in the air even as I found I could once more cry... it was a moment of weakness, when I failed my Mistress, and humiliation reigned supreme. The glass, controlled by several of the men, was used to leave me unable to bear children, as though I ever had planned to. Twisting inside of me, I could do nothing but scream and bleed, until finally, the darkness swirled inside my vision, and I retreated into the inner recesses of my mind.

I Dream of Sleep - Part 2

A wasteland. That's where I went. I found myself sitting, cross-legged, in a barren desert that was without heat. Cold and dark, lifeless, except for me, but quite fruitless. A cool crisp wind blew, and I winced, for the wind was painful, a caress from the outside, from the men in the orphanage as what could be raped, was. I closed my eyes, but that, in turn, let me seee that which I had rn from, and quickly they were reopened, to find myself looking up at a tall woman, wrapped in darkness, an aura of cold about her as her chiseled features gazed down upon me.

"Who are you?!" I leapt to my feet and demanded of her. Every blink was a flash of pain and horror, so I stared.

"You know who I am." her voice was a whisper, dark, poisonous. Like chocolate. I love chocolate.

"You're.. Sally?" I frowned up at her, my wings shivered.

"Her as well." She gave a slight smile, a half-smile really. I had to wonder if she could smile. "Yes, yes I can." she replied.

"You're me...?" This was puzzling, but she had wings, which I now noticed, and they were ragged and torn, as though they had been torn by storms unknown to man and somehow survived, though barely. A faint nod was her reply. "Why?" I asked.

"Why?"

"Why everything?"

"Because you are mine and I am your's." I had to sit back down. It was hard to understand. Another cool wind blew, and I winced, before suddenly, the dreamland swirled away from me, a smile coming to the woman's face as I fell backward and away, into a swirling pit of darkness.

Into a bed. My eyes opened, to stare up at the nurse attending to me. I shivered, biting my lower lip from the agony that continued to rip through my lower half, but uttered not a sound as I watched. My willpower held out, but my body did not, and as the nurse realized I was awake, I fell away again, back into the shifting dreamworld to meet my future.

I found myself lying on the ground in a dark forest. Next to me she sat, in dark armor, the faint dead light of a pale yellow moon shining off of spiked shoulderpads as she smiled down at me. "Why does it hurt...?" I whined.

"Because that is how you learn." she said softly. She was patient, and she was smiling. So I decided to continue to ask questions, because she seemed to have all the answers.

"Why are we alone?"

"Because we have each other."

"Are you the voice...?" I sat up now, staring at her. A faint nod, and her ears tweaked much like mine often do. "What else are you?" How could she be me, and Sally and the voice all at once?

"You are of me, Weeping Whisper." she murmured softly. Her voice was a lullaby, and I knew it was poisonous, but it was also my own. "I have always been with you, you know who I am."

"Death..." I looked away a moment, and her smile faltered. I had to think, after all. Death was always there, no matter what happened, and it seemed that death always seemed to look me over... or maybe it was watching over me. Again, that same question came to mind as I look back to her. "Why?"

"You are to be my champion." she nodded slightly.

"Champion?" I tilted my head, my own ears tweaking now, curiously as I whispered to her.

"Yes... you are to be me." I blinked, and in that flash, the dark forest was gone, and before me was a concerned looking nurse, who frowned.

"Are you alright, little one?" I was vexed. The dream was far more important to me than the wretch who suddenly was before me. I looked away, to look around the room, to found it held many other children, and nurses alike, from the orphanage. We had been saved, though I had no idea how. I did not ask, for I had a hint that no one else did. I looked back to the nurse, and simply glared at her, for I did not feel she deserved my words. I did not care for her. She would be dead soon, I could feel it, and there was no reason to associate with her. I laid down, and turned my face awy from her, and willed myself back to sleep, to embrace death.

When I closed my eyes, I opened them, to find myself underwater, the water purple and poisonous. I do not know how I was able to breath, but she was there with me, both of us sitting on the ocean floor. I embraced her, she being the only one who ever had answers for me, indeed, even saw true worth in me. "What do I do?" I asked Lady Death. That was what I call her now, though she goes as myself, Fribblegast, or Weeping Whisper. Fribblegast was the name I bore as a fool, you see.

"You will know." She murmured. "Keep quiet, and keep to the shadows, for the darkness is our friend." she nodded. I nodded slowly, I didn't understand, not quite, but I was learning. "Your first true test is almost upon us." I shrugged now. I guessed I'd find out when the moment was right, and I did. A strange warmth filled me as I woke from the dream, a half-smile offered to the world as I lay there, recovering in silence. Days passed and the dream did not come, but the warmth remained, though I knew not where it came from. I healed rather quickly, though I shall never bear life from my own womb, and before long, I was learning of the new orphanage. This one was rather well kept, and the nurses actually seemed to care about the people they tended to.

I came to find the building had many stories, about four, if I recall correctly, and it was made of some mixture of cement and wood. I found the basement to be a good place to hide from the rest of the living, and the various debris I managed to pick up served as some pitiful training, but training nonetheless. I spent my time fighting to regain the strength that I had lost, and more, for I would, and still do, need to be strong to properly serve Lady Death when she indicates it to be time for someone's pain to come to an end. It was one day, working in the basement, when I heard screams from above. My band and I, what remained of it, anyway, were located on the second floor, and I heard well enough the cries as they were attacked. I clung to the shadows as the basement door burst open, and was unnoticed as I looked upon my past tormentors... apparently, we had not been moved far enough, and they were raiding yet anothr orphanage, and too their delight, they'd chanced upon the survivors of their last raid.

I moved to leave, for the basement had a few windows, and it was easy enough to climb out of. But a thought struck me. The men who were now tormenting this new orphanage should have died in the last, if not from the fire, then for what they had done. Why not here instead? I frowned, thinking long and hard in the darkness of the basement, for at least an hour, despite the screaming and wailing... they were taking their time this night. Inspired, I placed my palm against a wooden support beam and closed my eyes, and began to whisper, a prayer to Lady Death to aid me. I winced as pain ran over my palm, burning, and thought she vexed with me, but my eyes opened to find flames wrapping around the wooden beams like serpents. I smiled then, knowing I was not alone, as the flames crept from beam to rafters, and to the other beams, burning as I climbed out of the basement window. I stood and watched as the cries of the terrified men joined the screams of those in pain. The guards arrived only to find the building crumbled, with no apparent survivors as I fled through darker alleys. I had passed the test. But where to go now? I decided the time had come for me to stake out a place to learn and train, to grow. To the roads I went, and the roads have led me here.

Here, at the Lonely Inn, I have discovered that Lady Death does not intend for me to remain alone. I find Erika, who has found me, and loves me. She is mine to shape and nurture, and together we shall stand. Perhaps with others, such as Leon, though I am not so sure about that. They do call him stupid Bastard, after all. Maybe. Only time, and mother, will tell.

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