Miranda's song book

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Re: Miranda's song book

Postby Miranda on Tue Jul 25, 2017 8:28 am

India

*bats eyes at her wifey adoringly....*

"The say the sword of Sorgram is so dangerous to behold!
Well that's because she is a drak and she is very bold!
India that is her name - and she has much fame;
that's because if you have a pulse then she regards you as fair game!"

Oh India, Oh India she really is outrangeous, oh India oh India between her legs is dangerous!"

"Her colours true are the ones known as gold and black;
she has no sigil of her own but should be -her- on her back!;
She met the temple guard at dawn and in shock said "fuck me!";
they took it as an invite and she was still there long gone three!"

"Oh India, Oh India she really is outrageous, oh India oh India surprised she's not contagious!"

Are those wings upon her back looking oh so fair?
Or are they really her bedsheets that have just got stuck there!
I'm not saying she's slept around, oh well perhaps I am;
After all she dumps her wife to go shag any man! "

"Oh India, Oh India she really is outrageous, oh India oh India she finds the men quite advantageous!

"Well she does like the men, and any man will do;
At least that's what the chaps said to me in her bedroom queue!
It really is impressive, the way she'll never falter;
I hear that if her they do rezz? It's on a Y shaped altar!"

"Oh India, oh India, she really is outrageous; oh India oh India, shagging her is courageous"


Welcome back poppet :)
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Re: Miranda's song book

Postby Miranda on Wed Jul 26, 2017 9:15 am

When Miranda met Kirva

A song about...hrm..I really need to do better song titles don't I?

*starts..slow*
I was at the temple wall
Upon which I made chalky scrawls
"The Gods don't exist" were the words that I drew
And then a voice said "I don't think -that's- true"

I turned with a start and an innocent face
(which in retrospect was a complete waste)
For stood there scorning my very behaviour
was a Goddess that goes by the name of Kirva...


and she said...

*fast bouncy tune!*

"Oh bad luck, oh bad luck,
it really is such a shame
Your ending, I'm sending
Time to end your little games
Sacrifice
Would be nice
You my giirl I'm going to slice and dice!
Time for you to die tonight"

and I said...

"I don't wanna, I don't wanna
I don't want to end up dead!
Why don't we?
Get Frisky?
Roll around on your bed?
Fun decreases
If I'm in pieces
All your stresses and strains I can releases!
Please don't me off me tonight!"

So she said

"Your beaver? I'm not eager,
to go down and munch
From what I've heard
I'd be scared
to end up with a free lunch
You put foodstuffs
Up your muff
Isn't your kitchen big enough?
No, it's time for you to die tonight"

So I said!

"I don't wanna, I don't wanna
Being dead is no fun
Why don't you?
Jump the queue?
And shove something up me bum?
Its' trendy!
I'm bendy!
You could smack me on the arse and call me Wendy!
But please don't off me tonight!"

And she said...

"I don't think so. It's no go,
despite the words you say.
No class
I'll pass
And I doubt your puss has seen light of day.
You tease
Never please
People make a pass you think it's a wheeze!
Public service to off you tonight!

And I said!

I'll dress up! Look I'll fess up
that is what I do
But I'm slinky
I can do kinky
Cast Milk on me and make me go moo!
I can do rude
In the nude
Let me show you what I do with food!
But please don't off me tonight.

Then she said

"No go dear, time for fear,
prepare yourself for such pain
I'll take my time
Be devine
For malice really is my game
Your songs
So wrong
Offing you will get me a community gong!
Now stand still you little gobshite!"

So I said!

I don't wanna, I don't wanna
To be another kill
I'm scared
Be my third!
And I can't afford the rezzing bill!
Don't be drastic
I'll be fantastic
My lady parts are very elastic!
Just don't off me tonight.

And she said.....

"But I want to. So want to.
I really want to end this farce
You're pretty
No titties
But a passable arse
But blonde hair?
I do despair
And just go and lay down somewhere over there
Time to end you tonight."

And I said!

"Why Falter? no Altar?
Why haven't you done it yet?
You stand there
With no care
Yet all you've done is make threats
Hardly thrilling
Must I be willing?
For all these acts that sound so chilling?
In that case, no offing tonight!"

And she said

"How did you know, one so low,
that that is the truth?"
She made a weak smile
Full of guile
"Why don't we go to a booth?"
I glower
She's no power
Bloody goddess is a sodden shower!
I turned the tables that night

For I said

"I don't think so, I don't think so,
you really are a disgrace
So weak
Now meek
I can see it all over your face
Your plan is scupper
I 've the hand upper
Time to eat me out and get a free supper!"
and I rode Kirva's face that night!

*exit stage right....rapidly!*
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Re: Miranda's song book

Postby Ehlanna on Wed Jul 26, 2017 7:14 pm

Miranda wrote:When Miranda met Kirva


I am imagining Victoria Wood singing this (Let's misbehave?)
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Re: Miranda's song book

Postby Miranda on Wed Jul 26, 2017 7:49 pm

It would indeed be the tune to "Let's do it" :D
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Re: Miranda's song book

Postby CallieO on Wed Jul 26, 2017 10:11 pm

You probably get this a lot, and I've said it more than once, but I'm a huge fan of your work.
"If there's nothing wrong with me, maybe there's something wrong with the universe."
--Dr. Beverly Crusher

Player of Callie Volopa, Viaa, Auric Lightwing, Brian Perano, Erin Tarcata and Aimee Sarasiné
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Re: Miranda's song book

Postby Miranda on Thu Jul 27, 2017 7:47 pm

Callie, bless. Thank you and I'm glad they amuse.
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Re: Miranda's song book

Postby Miranda on Tue Sep 26, 2017 9:48 pm

A quickie....

The Valencian anthem...or possibly not..

Valencia, Valencia oh how we do love thee;
Valencia, Valencia, where the love is free.
It would have to be bloody be of course for the taxes are so high!
And most of us don't reach thirty before we go and die!

Valencia, Valencia, with your valley wide and deep;
Valencia, Valencia, we're hemmed in by your keeps.
No exits for us to use is why we are so glum;
Well that and dodging Sorgram trying to shag us up the bum!
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Re: Miranda's song book

Postby Tehya on Wed Sep 27, 2017 3:45 pm

Nice one don't forget the one Tehya wants to pay you for. The sword in the heart one.
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Re: Miranda's song book

Postby Rebecca of Valaris on Wed Sep 27, 2017 3:51 pm

:oops: Oh cripes! I had!

*gets writing*
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Re: Miranda's song book

Postby Stormbringer on Sun Oct 01, 2017 6:56 pm

Ehlanna wrote:
Miranda wrote:When Miranda met Kirva


I am imagining Victoria Wood singing this (Let's misbehave?)


Yes, a classic, only partially mangled :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fFI5Jl_IqsE if you don't know what we're talking about
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--------------
Charm’d magic casements, opening on the foam
Of perilous seas, in faery lands forlorn

(John Keats)
Check your baggage at the door and bring some magic through your
window onto the world of Belariath
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Re: Miranda's song book

Postby Miranda on Mon Oct 02, 2017 1:10 pm

*laughs*

Mangled? I'll have you know I spent ages trying to get the "Woman's Weekly" bit in! :wink:
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Re: Miranda's song book

Postby Miranda on Mon Oct 02, 2017 1:24 pm

Um...

The Gladiator Song

(to the tune of the Toreador chorus from Carmen)

See the gladiators march;
In-to..the arena!
All keen to get into the ring;
With some of the men...so much keener!

Oiled up bodies, shining that they glow;
Their weapons, they are keen to show.....

They are polishing up their tools;
To show them off - in the arena!
Waving their weapon around in their hands;
Some of which could be cleaner!

Sweating, panting they begin to close;
Oddly happier fighting in no clothes...

See how they grapple each other so;
"Fighting" in the arena!
Tightly hugging, legs of stance apart;
They thrust their weapons hard - in the arena!

Oh no! One is on the floor!
See another leap upon him so....

So -THAT's- how the gladiators fight,
When in the arena!
One complains that the ring space is very tight;
The sights you see! - in the arena!

Looks like the one on the floor ain't having fun;
The other looks like his victories come...(that was quick!)

And so that's what gladiators do;
In the space of the arena!
So don't lose a fight to one of them;
Or we'll know if your a screamer!

Bravely fighters of the first class;
Oddly always going to stab in the ..*coughs*

But now see the gladiators leave;
Walking out of the arena! (even if stiffly!)
Now to watch something equally masculine;
It's time to watch the ballarinas!
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Re: Miranda's song book

Postby Miranda on Sat Oct 14, 2017 8:13 am

Healings...

A song about healers (with apologies to those of that so fine profession.....and Morris Albert of course!)

Heal-ers...
we're nothing more than Healers;
Trying to cop a feel,
as we put all your bits back in place.

Healers..
it's our perk so we're going to feel it;
And I hope before you wake up,
I get to come again

Heal-ers..
it's great to do the heal-ing;
With lots of unnecessary feeling.
Since you are unconcious
You won't feel any pain.

All your parts, are in my heart;
And my parts are in you too.
At least before you wake up;
But that's what healers do.

Heal-ers,
we're nothing more than Healers;
So ready to help aye
And now you all know why....

Heal-ers..
oooo-oohh-ooh Heal-ers
That's the sound of Healers
in their workplace.

Heal-ers!
It's great to be a healer!
You actually pay us
for coming on your face

(fade with lots of oooo-oohhs!)
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Re: Miranda's song book

Postby Tehya on Sat Oct 14, 2017 3:48 pm

Very cute. =D>

Hey where is that song about putting a sword through his heart while womanizing
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Re: Miranda's song book

Postby Rebecca of Valaris on Sat Oct 14, 2017 4:24 pm

It's coming, honest!

*is totally using the music from "You have placed a chill in my heart" for it so it's a biggy!* :)
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