Miranda's song book

Stories, poetry and pictures created by players here

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Re: Miranda's song book

Postby Miranda on Mon May 21, 2018 9:42 pm

And one last time...

Rebecca

Ruby lips and emerald eyes and coal black hair so fine;
She sounds less like a woman - and more like a sodding mine!
Not that she had great depths, there were puddles that were more deep;
But she must have done something right - cos she could give her wife a keep!

Chorus
Oh Rebecca you really were loathsome;
Rebecca you really were not nice.
You preferred time with the girls, for all your social whirls;
And you only let the blokes shag you twice!

Women were your first love. Well that or wine or nags;
You'd ride your mounts hard and fast - and yes, I'm punning shags!
Not just any woman mind.  You had strict rules to be fair;
The criteria of a pulse and less fabulous hair!

Chorus

One night though you found your match. You fell in love so true;
Though drunk, you couldnt let her go and this women you did pursue;
Your eyes did meet, you both did smile, was this love that would go far?
Oh course not for it was her reflection on the bar!

Chorus

With an accent so fruity, we could hardly understand a thing;
"Bally, Crikey, Poppycock" and you always drawled "darh-ling"
Your slang was indescribable. Middle class tosh from another land;
And the time you "needed a cavalry screw" you nearly got yourself banned!*

Chorus

You were fast with a blade I'll give you that;
And no armour did you wear.
But then again who made breastplates that could get all of your tits under there!
No scrapping in the arena. No fighting with the mob;
A fight you'd like." With the right type. ". God you really were a snob!

Chorus

You were such a fan of marriage and the wedding bed;
Just not yours in both cases - at least that's what India said!
Other men's wife you're in like Flynn, grinding away so nifty.
Just a shame, you lazy cow, you couldn't have grinded out your fifty! **

Chorus

*drops mike*

* True story too. Of course a "cavalry screw" is army slang for a horse. Pity the poor ops who had to read my stuff!

** I mean levels of course. Her stat numbers would have looked aces!
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Re: Miranda's song book

Postby Tehya on Tue May 22, 2018 5:33 pm

*applauds* with tears hate losing such a great talent!
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Re: Miranda's song book

Postby Rebecca of Valaris on Wed May 23, 2018 3:51 pm

Too kind - but glad they amused. :)
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Re: Miranda's song book

Postby CallieO on Sat May 26, 2018 12:35 pm

Please tell me there's a way we can keep this thread from being automatically deleted because it timed out of the system.
"If there's nothing wrong with me, maybe there's something wrong with the universe."
--Dr. Beverly Crusher

Player of Callie Volopa, Viaa, Auric Lightwing, Brian Perano, Erin Tarcata and Aimee Sarasiné

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Re: Miranda's song book

Postby Tehya on Sat May 26, 2018 6:30 pm

I moderate this and won't delete it, though it would have been nice if these songs were put into Legends.
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Re: Miranda's song book

Postby Tehya on Sun May 27, 2018 12:12 am

I decided to ask SB if I organize these and send them if he would put them in Legends. He said yes. Not sure why, but the mun and character touched me, maybe because she put so much into her rp and writing.

This way her work will be safe and visible to all.
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Re: Miranda's song book

Postby Stormbringer on Wed Jun 13, 2018 1:20 am

http://belariath.com/legends/story4.html

Reminder, anyone can have their stories in legends as long as they are at least fantasy and art galleries are available too
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--------------
Charm’d magic casements, opening on the foam
Of perilous seas, in faery lands forlorn

(John Keats)
Check your baggage at the door and bring some magic through your
window onto the world of Belariath
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Re: Miranda's song book

Postby Miranda on Sun Aug 12, 2018 12:32 pm

*sneaks back in as awkward as awkward can be....*

Lindor.
A song about...yeah, I know I need better titles.
Anyhoo, this is a song about a frightful elven woman who picked upon a poor blonde singer and smacked her arse for -no- reason! No, really! Well, probably no reason....


Lin-dor; Lin-dor is my name...
and as you all; already know; healing powers give me my fame
But there's some'at else which gives me renown..*long pause*
....I've got the driest cunt in town!

Chorus
Lind-or Tind-om-erel
Me cunts a dried up well
All fun there has long since passed
Which is why I'm easy if you fuck me ass!

Oh it's true, such a curse; people would talk
if they knew I could sandpaper wood when I walk!
It's a shame that for a girl like me
Like an overcooked turkey my juices don't run free!

Ah a turkey, how apt now I think of it
Cos proportionally me thighs are just as thick!
And like a portion of that bird on your plate all plain
I'm totally just breast with no brain!

Chorus

Well there is cure, temporary for sure
which gets things flowing down there once more
I just need to bully a sweet little thing
and land on her my backhand swing

I know, I know, I'm such a skank
That I only get turned on when I spank
But landing blows with a swish and a crack
starts to get me my dampness back!

Chorus

I only spank one handed, don't you see
Cos me other hand is already busy!
A pervert, I know; doing things I shouldn't
But while I'm spanking you? I'm rubbing me cunt!

So if you do find yourself over my knee
Please do this small favour for me
Cry out loud with squeals and moans
Cos they'll help drown out me sodding own!

Now I'll end this song with one thing to say
That you might ave seen when you've watch me sway
The healing skills that they say I'm the best?
I've none at all! Me skills are as fake as me breasts!

Chorus!
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Re: Miranda's song book

Postby Lindor on Wed Aug 15, 2018 12:54 am

:lol: :lol: :lol: =D>
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Re: Miranda's song book

Postby Miranda on Sun Aug 19, 2018 4:45 am

*curtsies*

And now, a song about current affairs called...
The Gobbo's list for want of anything better!

Have you seen that little goblin?
Seen his little sheet?
It’s a load of stuff ‘bout vulpines!
Well at least his writings neat!

So what's he say lets take a look
Take his points one by one
And since it's me up 'ere
I'll do it now in song!

"They're gunna take over"
Oh that I really doubt!
They'd need wit and brains for that!
And they've all had their brains fucked out!

"Always shagging?" He has a point
Not shy about showing their dick
The gal too are always up for a shag
Probs 'cos their blokes cum too quick!

Oh they do! It's true
It's me, I'd never lie!
If vulpine men could satisfy their girls?
Why did they invent -that- pie?!

"They can turn you into one of them"
Well that's what it sezz 'ere
What's the point? If you wanna tail
Yer can stick one up your rear!

Though I 'ear vulps are a fan of anal
that and faffing with their tails
or scritching at their tummys
with a set of scratchy nails

Not, that their not people too
Well of a certain kind
Most people when they visit though
Don't leave 2 foot long hairs behind!

Well what about the AVA lot?
You've seen them hang around
Well they're just a bunch of tossers, like
which gives them both common ground!

I know! Get em' all in a circle!
Man and vulpine too
Start a clock, 'ave a race
and see who's first to shoot their goo!

A wank off, not a stand off
Oh come on it would be fun!
And who ever cums first doing that
Gets shagged right up the bum!
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Re: Miranda's song book

Postby Tehya on Sun Aug 19, 2018 6:30 pm

=D>
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Re: Miranda's song book

Postby Miranda on Sun Sep 23, 2018 7:33 pm

Thankees Tehya.

and now with apologies to Gilbert and Sullivan and due to Menhir launching an unprovoked attack on an innocent little singer when she wandered into the arena....

(Well OK....Miranda saw Menhir lose a fight and jeered and threw nuts at him, to which his response was a very moderate small ice shard at her.....)

Menhir

When present in the arena,
When there was any fighting,
He liked to lay down on his back —
He found it less exciting.

But when a girl was on the poles,
His place was to be quite near!
That overweighted,
Perverted,
Overated
Bronzed scaled man,
The Drak known as Men-hir!

When at last he found himself in,
a fight he couldn't pass,
His attempts were quite futile
He got knocked down on his arse.

And so he lay upon the ground,
Whilst the crowd did jeer
That blow connected,
Well detected,
Perforated
Bronzed scaled man,
The Drak known as Men-hir!

He took his revenge upon a girl,
high up in the stands
Trying to impale her with his shaft
(for which he needed to use his hands!).

It didn't last very long and,
She didn't end up much wetter
That rapid firing,
undeep thrusting
Short lasting
Bronzed scaled man,
The Drak known as Men-hir!
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Re: Miranda's song book

Postby Menhir on Mon Sep 24, 2018 11:53 am

I ... really should've seen this coming sooner or later... I tip my hat to you fair bard lady... Next time keep your nuts off my face!
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Re: Miranda's song book

Postby Ehlanna on Mon Sep 24, 2018 11:58 pm

Menhir wrote:... keep your nuts off my face!

I'm sure she'd say the same thing ... ;)
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Re: Miranda's song book

Postby Miranda on Tue Sep 25, 2018 12:51 am

*laughs at both of the silly people* :)
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