So, for various IC reasons Miranda has been singing in the Inn of late. It started with her twisting some actual songs around but of late she's being doing her own.
So since some of them are quite amusing in their own rather crude way I thought I'd pop them up here rather than just lose them. All songs have been sung IC.
And anyone is free to use them IC of course, although Miranda the Entertainer might be a bit of a dangerous one to sing!
Alice from Thallis
A song about lost love
"I met her down in Thallis, she said her name was Alice...
And she looked so fine, so we went to wine and dine."
That night we went to her room,
she held and kissed in the gloom-
and then we did what we sh'unt...
.....and she shoved me face in her cunt"
Well a girls got to do what a girls got to do,
she said she wanted to come and go;
well did I what I could for as long as I should,
and then she walked out of the door"
Oh Alice from Thallis, I miss yer.
Oh Alice from Thallis you were fine;
and when between your knees,
all the things that I could see,
well to me it looked all pretty fine...
Oh Alice, I loved yer lips;
Oh Alice, the one's between your hips;
Oh Alice when will you come back,
Because if truth be told you were great in the sack
"And Alice when you held me tight?
The magic, that flowed around that night;
Oh Alice it wasn't just you that came,
but I'm not really sure my ass will ever be the same!"
"Oh Alice, to me you were so good,
Oh Alice, you showed me your womanhood;
Oh Alice, my banjo you hated it
oh Alice you said I could shove it;
oh Alice, I did just like you said
and Alice, now I can't lie down in my bed!"
Alice! *fade*
"I don't want to touch yer knob"
A song about breaking up
"I was there in his house - as quiet as a mouse, as I moved and went to leave.
"But he came down the stairs, caught me unawares and caught me by my sleeve;
There I did stand in his house so grand, and he looked me in the eye;
His grip became bold, as the tale that he told and then he said to me....."
"He said, it's smooth and it's round and it fits in your hand;
why not give it a tug?"
"and so I said to him, do you think I'm that dim - I don't want to touch your knob"
*Chorus* "No I don't want to touch your knob. I don't want to touch your knob. It's just down there all covered in hair. I dont want to touch your knob!"
He said I don't know why. Its not even that high and it is quite a sight to see.
So I said right back - 'ere you listen Jack, go on like that and I'll hit it with me knee, because..."
*Chorus* "No I don't want to touch your knob. I don't want to touch your knob. It's just down there all covered in hair. I dont want to touch your knob!"
"Well that wouldnt be right, you'd ladder your tights, just hold it. It will be grand
That I won't do, for if I twist and pull I'm worried it will come off in my hand!"
"He said, stop explaining away. I haven't got all day and I want you to open up.
I said - now you listen mate, I'll sandpaper it unless you shut yer gob"
*Chorus* " And he said...I don't want you to touch my knob, no please don't touch my knob. Let's put it away till the end of the day. Please don't touch my knob!"
"So I go look at him and give a big grin, as I go and reach for sure. He went a little white as I held it tight, twisted and pulled ........and then I opened the door!" *fade*