Miranda's song book

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Miranda's song book

Postby Miranda on Sun Feb 26, 2017 9:02 pm

So, for various IC reasons Miranda has been singing in the Inn of late. It started with her twisting some actual songs around but of late she's being doing her own.

So since some of them are quite amusing in their own rather crude way I thought I'd pop them up here rather than just lose them. All songs have been sung IC.

And anyone is free to use them IC of course, although Miranda the Entertainer might be a bit of a dangerous one to sing!



Alice from Thallis

A song about lost love

"I met her down in Thallis, she said her name was Alice...
And she looked so fine, so we went to wine and dine."
That night we went to her room,
she held and kissed in the gloom-
and then we did what we sh'unt...
.....and she shoved me face in her cunt"

Well a girls got to do what a girls got to do,
she said she wanted to come and go;
well did I what I could for as long as I should,
and then she walked out of the door"

Oh Alice from Thallis, I miss yer.
Oh Alice from Thallis you were fine;
and when between your knees,
all the things that I could see,
well to me it looked all pretty fine...

Oh Alice, I loved yer lips;
Oh Alice, the one's between your hips;
Oh Alice when will you come back,
Because if truth be told you were great in the sack

"And Alice when you held me tight?
The magic, that flowed around that night;
Oh Alice it wasn't just you that came,
but I'm not really sure my ass will ever be the same!"

"Oh Alice, to me you were so good,
Oh Alice, you showed me your womanhood;
Oh Alice, my banjo you hated it
oh Alice you said I could shove it;
oh Alice, I did just like you said
and Alice, now I can't lie down in my bed!"

Alice! *fade*

"I don't want to touch yer knob"
A song about breaking up

"I was there in his house - as quiet as a mouse, as I moved and went to leave.
"But he came down the stairs, caught me unawares and caught me by my sleeve;
There I did stand in his house so grand, and he looked me in the eye;
His grip became bold, as the tale that he told and then he said to me....."

"He said, it's smooth and it's round and it fits in your hand;
why not give it a tug?"
"and so I said to him, do you think I'm that dim - I don't want to touch your knob"

*Chorus* "No I don't want to touch your knob. I don't want to touch your knob. It's just down there all covered in hair. I dont want to touch your knob!"

He said I don't know why. Its not even that high and it is quite a sight to see.
So I said right back - 'ere you listen Jack, go on like that and I'll hit it with me knee, because..."

*Chorus* "No I don't want to touch your knob. I don't want to touch your knob. It's just down there all covered in hair. I dont want to touch your knob!"

"Well that wouldnt be right, you'd ladder your tights, just hold it. It will be grand
That I won't do, for if I twist and pull I'm worried it will come off in my hand!"
"He said, stop explaining away. I haven't got all day and I want you to open up.
I said - now you listen mate, I'll sandpaper it unless you shut yer gob"

*Chorus* " And he said...I don't want you to touch my knob, no please don't touch my knob. Let's put it away till the end of the day. Please don't touch my knob!"

"So I go look at him and give a big grin, as I go and reach for sure. He went a little white as I held it tight, twisted and pulled ........and then I opened the door!" *fade*
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Re: Miranda's song book

Postby Stormbringer on Tue Feb 28, 2017 12:47 am

Nice :)
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Re: Miranda's song book

Postby Tehya on Tue Feb 28, 2017 2:03 am

Very nice Miranda!
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Re: Miranda's song book

Postby Miranda on Wed Mar 01, 2017 10:39 pm

Thank you both *beams and blushes!*
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Re: Miranda's song book

Postby Miranda on Thu Mar 02, 2017 1:15 pm

Miranda the entertainer

A song about..well Miranda following: viewtopic.php?f=53&t=20946#p140167 :)

And so one night they all rode out,
with swords and lances gleaming;
The cavalry's orders were clear,
"Miranda's ass needs reaming!"

Why? What had this poor girl done,
What had she done so wrong?
Apparently she had said in verse,
"Lord Sorgram's feet do pong!

*chorus*
They ride over there, they hunt over here,
trying to detain her;
But who's this girl they'll never catch?;
Why, Miranda the entertainer!"

A whole brigade of cav for her?
It seemed an expensive jaunt!
But apparently her words had vexed!
He growled "Sing again she won't"

Virgin singer that she was,
Small boobs but decent legs;
It couldn't be sex that they want,
Perhaps Val was out of eggs?!

*chorus*
They ride over there, they hunt over here,
trying to detain her;
But who's this girl they'll never catch?;
Why, Miranda the entertainer!"

Horses riding in the Inn?
Sending cavalry for her here?
Still if rumours true, the Inn will have,
a fresh supply of beer!

No, this girl they'll never catch,
Though she gets on nobles wick;
She'll taunt them all and escape again,
for like noblemen, she's quick!

*chorus*
They ride over there, they hunt over here,
trying to detain her;
But who's this girl they'll never catch?;
Why, Miranda the entertainer!"

So fear not all you gentle folk,
Miranda's ass is still secure;
She'll keep on tweaking nobby noses,
and keep viginity so pure!

In song, and joke and acts so rude,
she'll make fun of those who pose;
So be careful heroes in the Inn,
or you'll end up in her prose!

*chorus*
They ride over there, they hunt over here,
trying to detain her;
But who's this girl they'll never catch?;
Why, Miranda the entertainer!"
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Re: Miranda's song book

Postby Stormbringer on Sun Mar 05, 2017 8:37 pm

very entertaining :)
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Charm’d magic casements, opening on the foam
Of perilous seas, in faery lands forlorn

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Re: Miranda's song book

Postby Miranda on Sat Mar 11, 2017 8:41 pm

Thankees! *beams*
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Re: Miranda's song book

Postby Miranda on Sun Mar 26, 2017 4:21 pm

"Up yours, I'm not dead anymore"
A song about the tragedy of death

"I've given the slip, to Death's icy grip, although he said I should stay;
"Not likely I cried!; for with that look in his eye, I fink he wanted me to play!"
"And not just my songs, and that seemed fookin' wrong! He said he liked me lithe!"
"Typical man, he wasn't even a fan! He just wanted me to 'old his scythe!"

"Worse there was nothing to do! Being dead was quite poo! No fun things to be done!"
"All was just gloom; didn't 'ave me own room; just had to sit around on me bum!"
"And with Death given me the eye; Well, I didn't like any of that!
" to escape I did try, twas easy for I for." *stage whispers*"..he's old, slow and fat!"

"Being dead wasn't the best, but it gave me some rest and now I'm back and back for sure;
Just gimme some time, I'll put stuff to rhyme and sing songs again so unpure!
Of nobles and dames, I'll sing of their games, tell truths they'll want unsaid!
This maiden they'll hunt - well they're humourless cunts - but I'll take care to not end up so dead!"
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Re: Miranda's song book

Postby Tehya on Sun Mar 26, 2017 4:50 pm

=D>
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Re: Miranda's song book

Postby Sorgram on Sun Mar 26, 2017 7:38 pm

Creative as always.

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Re: Miranda's song book

Postby Marena on Mon Mar 27, 2017 10:01 am

Always a fun read, always gets me giggling, now I want to make a bawdy bard. But there can only be one.....

Miranda!
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Re: Miranda's song book

Postby Miranda on Mon Mar 27, 2017 1:56 pm

Thankees!

Give it a bash Marena. Bags of fun!
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Re: Miranda's song book

Postby Stormbringer on Mon Apr 03, 2017 5:45 pm

fun fun fun
I'm waiting to see what you have to say about SB
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Charm’d magic casements, opening on the foam
Of perilous seas, in faery lands forlorn

(John Keats)
Check your baggage at the door and bring some magic through your
window onto the world of Belariath
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Re: Miranda's song book

Postby Miranda on Tue Apr 04, 2017 2:41 pm

Oh hell...that feels like a dare! Miranda can't resist dares.... :)

I'm sure she'll compose something suitably respectable by the time I'm back playing again *sneaks off to check her rezz funds*
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Re: Miranda's song book

Postby Stormbringer on Sun Apr 09, 2017 6:27 pm

Waste a good female by killing her when the slave poles are waiting??
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Charm’d magic casements, opening on the foam
Of perilous seas, in faery lands forlorn

(John Keats)
Check your baggage at the door and bring some magic through your
window onto the world of Belariath
User avatar
Stormbringer
High Council
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