We need to start treating each other better

[CallieO]

Sometimes, we have a habit of taking each other for granted. This is especially true when a certain person is of particular value to the game, like, for example, if they're an op, or if they provide a necessary service, like being able to open shops.

Some people, and they know who they are, have been feeling hurt and used by the community because they feel they're *only* valued because they can open shops, or because they run quests. Some people have been inexplicably breaking off their relationships with people and forming exclusive relationships with other people. I'm speaking not of myself, but of several friends of mine, a couple of whom have even gotten to the point where they've been thinking about leaving the game.

We need to start treating each other better. We need to remember that on the other side of that computer screen is a living, breathing human being who has the same emotions that you do, and who lives just as rich and complex and wonderful a life. Every person you'll ever meet is different from every other person in the world, as Mr. Rogers would say. Some can do some things; some can do others.

We're in this game because of our love of writing, our love for our friends here, and let's face it, because we have sexual needs. We're here to have fun. Sometimes things happen to make it less fun. But society is judged by how it treats the least fortunate and the most vulnerable, and I think we can all do a better job than we've been doing.

[Saqwana Ironfist]

i get the shop feeling at time but i try to do more then that.

[Pipistrelle]

I agree, Tenni. We also need to stop treating the ops like it's kindergarten playground bullshit and learn to solve things ourselves.

[Sanjin Koukyu]

I've been sitting here thinking about this and want to add my two cents in, if only because I've had conversations with individuals who've expressed to me that very feeling of 'I'm only rp'd with because of my shops'.

I imagine it's a matter of perspective, or perhaps a matter of how it's handled. Opening a shop, or roleplaying any 'work' position within Belariath can bring untold amounts of roleplay potential as long as it's not being treated as 'ho-hum, this is just for the mhl anyways'. I'll use my character as an example; Sanjin currently works at the tavern as a bartender and for the noble House of Lone Destiny (they also worked at the REB, but due to an extended absence due to illness, was removed and rightly so).

Any job they do, whether it's monologuing (which isn't as entertaining, but can help flesh out a character), simply rping with people who want roleplay but not necessarily the service rendered (a few times people came into the REB but didn't actually buy anything due to money constraints, but still got good roleplay out of it), or offering the service as a whole (Bartending tends to lead to this. Last night (4/8/22), San played bartender as others played with each other, so I was acting as a third wheel and expanding on their roleplay and character development {Which was perfectly fine!})

But what about 'just roleplaying'?

Using myself as an example again, I see a few people who ask in OOC 'does anyone need <insert list of characters>' and when they don't get a response, don't do anything (most times). When I worked at the REB, before I did monologuing, I didn't ask 'does anyone...', i simply stated 'REB's gonna be open! If you want to buy property, etc etc etc'

On the commercial side of things, most people don't know what they want at any given point, and those that do, actively search and ask for said services well before another player does the 'does anyone need...' question. So stating something's open might spark an idea or some creativity (as it has with me regularly, especially with the Naked Bird).

There's also the idea of 'spontaneous' roleplay. With one person who mentioned the aforementioned 'no one wants me except for shops', I asked them 'Why don't you just go in and roleplay?' 'Oh, my character doesn't like crowds and wouldn't go into the tavern for X reasons'.

There's a particular point where the onus is on the person who's not getting roleplay to try and find roleplay by just... diving in. I've roleplayed with a plethora of people in the short time I've been here by doing that, as I imagine a lot of veterans to this site have too. We can't expect all roleplay come to us and can't readily expect to always find roleplay despite however many characters and positions we might own.

And to play something of a Devil's Advocate regarding a point Callie brought up: Exclusive Groups/Cliques.

As said, we're all people on the other side of the screen and most of us don't feel good when we feel like 'time is wasted'. People create 'exclusive' groups because they share timezones/roleplay times, because they trust the other people and don't want to spread themselves thin... there's a number of reasons behind it. Without getting into the meat and gristle of it, the concept itself isn't necessarily a bad thing, it depends on how it's acted upon.

Some people work long hours, or have intense schedules/responsibilities that don't allow them to do much roleplay (I imagine most of the ops/admin are in this unfortunate group), so they create those groups specifically so that when they have the opportunity to rp, they can without worry.

As far as 'inexplicably breaking...' there's always a reason. I've broken off long standing relationships in reality because of toxicity and negativity, i've accidentally broken relationships because of personal schedules and other such events suddenly taking up more time and different time than I had normally, leading to a breakdown in communication and unfortunately, the relationship. But there's always a reason, somewhere in there.

But fundamentally, in the end of it all, we are people on the other side of the screen, with our own lives, problems, excitements and the like. We should always strive to treat each other with at least basic respect and humanity, understanding that we may not understand everything that's going on, while trying to do our best, ourselves.

Thank you, this was my TED talk.

[Eucep]

Yeah, first of all, I agree that just being nice to each other is an important basis.

But, it makes me wonder on what changed. Like, I don't remember this really being an issue in the past. At least not to the degrees put forth here.

Things that come to mind is perhaps some of the rules that are in play now and maybe they are not functioning as intended.

Basing this on the issue that I see a lot of channels empty all the time, even the inn.

Now where am I going with this? I think it negativly affects people because they cannot really 'gather' to rp. And it gets worse for the shop things. People have started to call out for availability because, most of the time that is the only way. And then it becomes a more functional only interaction over a natural roleplay.

So what rule do I think needs to be looked at? There is the rule to be in one channel maximum. And there is the rule to not lurk in an ic channel. I understand the first is to avoid people rping in more then one channel and the latter is because we did have people in ic channels at times being afk for literal days. But, right now, I think the trade-off is not proportional with people finding it harder to find rp.

Fixing this might also fix the treatment of others issue.

[Balard]

I am going to be completely honest here, i offer Balard and Arethusa to anyone, Balard in any position as commander of the IG, Thallis and The Order aka assassins, Arethusa in any rp possibility even if it's just a one off, but due to when i am around no one goes to me "Hey let's rp or want to do a work log or something?" so i am just sitting in ooc getting bored and this is usually for about 7 - 8 hours and it's rare that i get taken up on the offer i put in ooc, i get the times for some are early, but others who are awake and around i get nothing and no one is in any of the channels for some of the time either and if i do get lucky it's a 1 off scene and nothing more.

And with the jobs i run, they are fun, but better with others. it's also extremely rare for anyone to want the Imperial Guard, i don't need the coin as Balard is loaded and i have everything i need, so i rarely put the IG tag on when i do the job or if i do put the tag on it's usually for a interview, but i get some who ask for a position and they do well in the interview, but then i see no logs or anything, i have removed a few due to inactivity and i may have to do so again as i don't see logs except from a couple, some i understand ooc etc, but others haven't done anything since being hired.

The order, now this ones complicated, because it's a secret organization that kills people, but people either do the job themselves or it's all friendly and hand holding, their is barely any conflict anymore or warranted need for it, except maybe on a rare quest where discretion is key. I could have Balard start hurting/killing people for fun, but that's not him, he is a contract killer and gets paid for it, simple as that.

Now i have pinged out in the past due to storms and to isp etc, it's a pain as we all have it and it happens mid scene, i try and say to the person ooc or in pm sorry about what happened, all i get is "That's all good" or "Understandable, it happens to all of us." i then sometimes ask if i am free and not busy if they want to continue and either they are in a scene or something else is going on, but i end up with scenes that are barely finished. But then i get my rp partners who ping or quit etc on me and don't say anything to me and don't want to continue or it's a new scene and then it happens again and it repeats and nothing is said to me.

And about the private groups/cliques that go on, yeah it's pretty bad, at first you think "It's not true." But then after a time it is like "Oh, now i see it!!" and you can see the groups they gravitate to each other main characters and alternates, it feels like a club and that you are excluded as they keep to each other.

I feel left out at times, especially due to timezones, but also i feel like i have done a lot but not enough to be contacted regularly and be like "Hey, how's things? by the way want to rp?" or something similar and when i do throw my characters into a room on a whim or a hope of rp, they are in there for a hour or two and nothing so i just close the room and sit in ooc while i go watch youtube or twitch and just ask if anyone wants my characters.

To the ones i rp with which is very small and continue with the scenes till it's finished/completed no matter the time it took thank you.