Rebecca's dungeon guide

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Rebecca's dungeon guide

Postby Rebecca of Valaris on Thu Oct 26, 2017 5:26 am

As a gal who spends an awful lot of time in various dungeons and basements for some reason, I thought it might be useful to lay out just what makes a quality dungeon. Standards are -so- very important and if you are the type of a chap or gal who plan on entertaining then you really should put some thought into the entertainment of your guests. After all - no one wants to be the imperfect host now do we?

Service

Great service can lift average dungeon, but a great dungeon can never make up for inept service. The best minions, helpers or guard exhibit a passion for what they do and their aim really should be to ensure that the prisoner in question feels cared about during the stay. Great minions see everything – from the slightest attempt to get free to a faked scream if the guest is trying to feign hurt. They'll also be watching out for the most fleeting expression of disappointment on a prisoner's face in case that last dildo was too small or that last whipping didn't scar. Never intrusive, they'll always wait for an appropriate break in conversation to tell those confined about "specials" and have the sense to stay away if we look like we're having a romantic moment with our host (also known as being raped in some circles but let's not be vulgar). Top shelf staff have a thorough knowledge of the all the impliments available and can explain the use of all them without having to refer to notes. And far from the old snooty stereotype, truly great staff at a truly great dungeon will never as much as lift an eyebrow even if they're asked to bring ice-cubes for your bits or take back a branding iron if it's not heated up to your exact satisfaction.

Decor

The best have a distinct and unique style with features that express what the general ethos of the dungeon is all about. A good ones decor is designed not to date and is appropriate for the location. So, don't go all out on damp walls and spiders and whatnot if your trying to play the civilised host. Equally, if your aiming for that dark lord effect, a comfy bed in a well lit room just won't cut the mustard. The decor should set an appropriate atmosphere that conveys the excitement to come. But whatever you do, don't go overboard on the furnishings. Not only is it slightly declasse but they could well get in the way. And no one wants to trip over their own furniture as you go to shove something up someones' bottom. Especially not the person who owns the bottom!

An appealing menu

The best dungeon menus have been thoroughly checked. And, if you are of a mage inclination, spell-checked! They will be carefully egalitarian and well balanced and not just consist of a list of whatever torture devices are currently on-trend. A great menu has appealing descriptions that are concise but with enough information to know whether the device/method in question is something we might like rather than requiring 20 minutes of description to translate. If your dungeon devices need a user manual, then do take care. Otherwise things may well go in the wrong places! A great dungeon will look for variety and, if close to farmland, can even uses produce in season, to try and give a sense of place and changes often enough to make return visits enticing. I fully recommend the use of ginger root to spice even the dullest visit up.

Perfect timing

The co-ordination in the best dungeons is a well-orchestrated ballet. You should never see your guest kicking her heels (unless she is suspended of course!) or looking at her nails. Rather look to see that the delivery of your tortures is well-spaced and consistent, with enough time for pleasant conversation, leering and the odd threat but never long enough to reach the dangerous stage where your guests try to answer back or turn the tables. Even if there's someone else ready to go on the rack next, a good dungeon will never make you feel you're being hurried and will never, ever bring the bill for your rezzing and healings without being prior agreement.

Spot on sound and lighting

Lighting can have a profound effect on our mood. There's a very fine line between flatteringly low lit and so dark you can't see who is actually torturing you, but great dungeons always get it right, often by employing a professional to figure out how to balance practicality and ambience. They also get the balance of sound right and you'll hear an energising buzz from those dildos and peril based devices as they advance upon you in your helpless state rather than a clamour caused by too many hard surfaces and badly designed spaces that make it impossible to beg and plead over. Cells should be spaced far enough away so you don't overhear the screams of others. Music is always a no-no and should be avoided unless you are torturing a bard.

A good wine list and wine service

This is where so many good dungeons go wrong. Even the best dungeon can find itself slipping down the ratings by the failure to provide a decent claret or, if it does, to make the mistake of serving it in a chilly basement. An issue so overlooked, the absence of a decent wine list can really undermine the whole effect and make your guests wish they had just opted for a run on the slave poles instead where at least the Inn has a reasonable variety.
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Re: Rebecca's dungeon guide

Postby Farvel on Thu Oct 26, 2017 4:21 pm

:lol: =D>
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Re: Rebecca's dungeon guide

Postby Rebecca of Valaris on Thu Oct 26, 2017 5:53 pm

A review of Lord Sorgram's dungeon

Now I must confess that my visit here was some time ago and the establishment has changed somewhat. However his lordship is a bit of traditionalist when it comes to his dungeons and, given the obvious capital investment required on his facilities, it is unlikely that much will have changed bar minor decoration. However, if planning a stay here it may well be worth dropping a fae ahead of your stay to ensure that this remains the case.

What his lordships dungeon does have going for it is location. Stunning vistas on the approach to your place of imprisonment are almost worth the visit itself, and as you travel up that high road to the mountain, if you time it right for sunset, you'll have a view to cherish for the rest of your life. Admittedly, this may not be very long of course. The visual splendour continues on the approach to the keep itself with huge gates that really do start to give off that "you're very small and insignificant" vibe which is excellent news for all those subs out there. Sadly, less positive things can be said about what I like to call the "minion factor". The two principle gate guards, a dwarf and an elf, really do lower the tone and ladies should be mindful of attempts at sneaky bum pinches. Not something we would really expect from an establishment trying to position itself at the higher end of the market!

Better things can be said once inside. The ambiance created by the dramatic presence of the lava flows is second to none in this reviewers opinion, although be warned that it does get very warm indeed and it may be sensible to wear light clothing such as linen to remain looking your best. Avoid suede or leather, although to be honest those are so last season it's unlikely that you would be of course.

Cells are adequate. Being of a reasonable size for minimum comfort and without any unnecessary embellishments such as water running down the walls, rats etc which really do suggest that a place is trying too hard. As to the principle dungeon itself, this really is where Valencia scores points. Without wanting to spoil to many surprises from your visit it suffers an almost over-capacity of locations that, thankfully, as the prisoner you can leave the decision of where to go down to your host. But from being spreadeagled on an altar to the more traditional manacles on a wall. Valencia really does have something to cater for all tastes of confinement and dungeon fun.

It also benefits from an excellent wine list but if your taste runs to the mundane or simple wines expect to be disappointed. His lordship does have an excellent cellar but it is all at the higher end and this is where perhaps the service overall could be improved as it leaves the guests with little choice when it comes to their choice of refreshments. Also for those of a more sapphic persuasion it is advised to let Valenica have advance notice. They can accomodate you, but book early to avoid disappointment and to ensure that you are catered for correctly.

Pros: Excellent views, wide variety of locations for torture, solid wine list
Cons: Minions, lack of girly action
Rating: Seven out of ten manacles
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Re: Rebecca's dungeon guide

Postby Rebecca of Valaris on Thu Oct 26, 2017 8:53 pm

A review of Kir Trelanders dungeon

Sad to say I have very little positive to remark of my visit to Kir's dungeon. It was verah disappointing. And where perhaps I could put down my disappointments at Lord Sorgrams mainly down to his staff and the accomodation of a gal with certain needs well, I'm afraid this was a very different story.

My first visit to this dungeon was in darkness, albeit I confess due to being unconcious at the time and so I am unable to report with any great accuracy of what awaits the eye. Sadly, this extends to his dungeon too for, although I have commented on the appropriateness of lighting before, this lesson appears not to have reached this part of the empire for my entire stay, bar some illusionist trickery, was in utter darkness! Complete! This of course leads me to be unable to give you any assurances over the quality of furnishings or decor -at- all.

There is, sadly to say, even worse. The levels of service were atrocious with my good self being palmed off to that dreadful Adrienna woman and so not even having the attention of the owner, and worse still....there was a dress code. So don't expect to just be able to turn up in this seasons must have. No, I'm afraid from what I could gather, guests are expected to wear body stockings and pirate hats. Yes. I know! No one could be expected to pull that off without advanced notice to attend your hairdresser.

The wine...was none existent.

All in all this was a frightful disappointment. I will attempt a return visit in perhaps better circumstances if only to be able to advise you on some of those points which circumstances prevented. But until then I cannot in all honesty recommend this as a place for your dungeon visit.

Pros: Your head stays warm
Cons: Everything. Dreadful. Awful service. Shocking. Avoid.
Rating: 0 Manacles
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Re: Rebecca's dungeon guide

Postby mfpsup on Thu Oct 26, 2017 9:20 pm

I have to be honest, I only joined to give "Rebecca of Valaris" props for a well written silly article that Ehlanna pointed out to me. =D>

I hope you review Ehlanna's dungeon. [-o<
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Re: Rebecca's dungeon guide

Postby Rebecca of Valaris on Thu Oct 26, 2017 9:40 pm

Why thank you! *curtsies*

And I will, if I ever see it ;)
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Re: Rebecca's dungeon guide

Postby Stormbringer on Thu Oct 26, 2017 9:52 pm

Very useful :) I'll refer it to the staff
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Charm’d magic casements, opening on the foam
Of perilous seas, in faery lands forlorn

(John Keats)
Check your baggage at the door and bring some magic through your
window onto the world of Belariath
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Re: Rebecca's dungeon guide

Postby Rebecca of Valaris on Fri Oct 27, 2017 4:50 pm

A review of Aeria Nighthawk's dungeon

After the previous disappointment I needed some bucking up and I have to say nothing quite bucks up a gal like a visit to this rather bucolic retreat. Set in some simply super countryside the whole place has that wonderful "break in the country" feel to it that I know we all adore and crave and gives us an opportunity to break out the tweeds. Travel is easy although do -not- ride out by horse. Frankly you will not be able to make the journey back and I would suggest instead travelling by carriage or by some other means where at least you can lay on your front coming home.

The accommodation verges somewhat on the simplistic which adds to the relaxed charm about the place, but please don't expect anything beyond the basics in terms of personal attention. Minions are, somewhat thankfully after Valencia, non-existent and although this means you have one-to-one attention throughout your stay, it does also mean that will spend considerable time hanging around - I know I did. Sometimes upside down.

Despite this there is a magical air about the place. Very magical. So if one has any allergies to the use of magic, I advise either avoiding or topping up on anti-histamines.

Again we have the usual lighting problems but these are used to somewhat dramatic effect and on the whole add an air of mystery as opposed to just not being able to see what the deuce is going on. There is a lack of devices on hand which I confess is a particular disappointment of mine but the owner does try to, and indeed to be fair, often succeeds in getting around. However, if you are a fan of the more back to basic dungeon accessories I should warn you that you may be frustrated. Quite often too, unless you beg loudly enough.

Full credit should also be given to the creative use of the space -outside- the dungeon and, whilst novel, it does at least ensure I obtain some sunlight from time to time. It's a nice touch which again shows the care and attention that a good dungeon owner can lavish. However, I do suggest one only engages in over summer.

Post dungeon service is civilised and sometimes one can obtain breakfast before departure - however do not tarry to long else you will find your stay extended. Wine selection is tailored to the individual which for a solo operation is quite remarkable and a lesson some of the larger dungeons could well do paying heed to. So top marks there too.

However, despite the many positive things to rave about this is a very niche dungeon and certainly won't suit everyone. Gentlemen are not, to my knowledge catered for, which although not a barrier to my own enjoyment may preclude it in others. And the lack of artifices and mechanical instruments do to my mind let it down somewhat overall.

Pros: Excellent one-to-one service, super wine, fresh air
Cons: Overly magical, lack of traditional equipment
Rating: 8 Manacles (for gals)
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Re: Rebecca's dungeon guide

Postby Rebecca of Valaris on Sat Oct 28, 2017 9:14 am

On the subject of tweeds..

Following my previous review, I have had some delightful correspondence on the subject of exactly what type of tweed should be worn in the country and I am, of course, only more than willing to advise on this often tricky matter. Well, tricky matter for some at any rate. Perfect co-ordination is something thankfully I have been blessed with.

Our correspondent, whom I can only presume is...nouveau riche (although admittedly nouveau riche is better than no riche at all) was proposing blue large checks. For the country. I'll let that vision of horror sink in for a moment, shall I?

This of course is ..well...just so wrong on so many levels as you well know. Blue or grey, if they -must- be worn, and I'll be damned if I can think of any reason why they would unless at knife point, should only be worn in town. Light brown to yellow for the country of course, although dark brown -can- be acceptable at certain times of the year or if your budget is pushed. For of course, light browns should -never- be worn in town, yet dark browns can be. Verah simple really.

As to the subject of checks. Small really is better. Large checks are just trying too hard and if of a small frame make one look like a walking noughts and crosses board.

Helpfully yours, Rebecca
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Re: Rebecca's dungeon guide

Postby Rebecca of Valaris on Thu Sep 06, 2018 12:25 pm

A review of Kir Trelanders dungeon (part 2)

Nevah let it be said that I'm a gal to hold a grudge or not give a place a second chance! As promised I did attempt a return visit and, although there were some improvements overall, I have to say that my recommendation does sadly stay in force.

On the plus side at least this time I arrived in light and so I am able to at least fill in some of the gaps from my prior visit. It started brightly enough being greeted by a gal who was accommodating, if a tad vulgar for my tastes. However, if you prefer the more rustic-peasant type as your evening companion, even if only to stay on trend when that becomes fashionable once more, you well be inclined to keep this in mind.

Concierge service was sadly non-existent however once past the initial greeting and I found myself having to make my own way to my table for the night. This rudeness does seem to be a trademark of the venue sadly as I distinctly heard other members of staff swear for seemingly no reason in conversation. Once inside, again the rustic look is -verah- in and although it now seems that the dress code requirement has been removed (so a plus point for reviews!) I advise against wearing anything too smart. You certainly you should keep any high end fashion pieces back at home as they'll just make you seem out of place. You may wish to consider the venue for farmers balls or as a fancy-dress location perhaps if one really wanted to make the most of the atmosphere.

In an attempt to impress one does get to see the head of the House and, I will concede, his own staff are most attentive to his every whim; so at least they have the minion thing running smoothly enough which again is another improvement on the prior visit. Staff even go so far as to lay on entertainment prior to the main event and, since my reviews are always fair and honest, I must confess I did enjoy the dancing that took place building up a high old sweat and an appetite for what was to follow.

Sadly the venue -rally- fails to follow through on this again, and a gal finds herself back at home having to order in or rummage in the cupboard for something to fill those gaps.

Once more, the wine was none existent.

Despite some improvements and the fact the hosts were jolly keen to impress, it really didn't hit the spot for a gal. I ended up being several mhls out of pocket with my best uniform ruined for what was essentially a barn dance. I really suggest the owners take some pointers from my Dungeon Guide on how things should be done.

Pros: Dancing was excellent
Cons: Atmosphere is just too rustic, rude service, complete absence of refreshments
Rating: 1 Manacle
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