Proofreading, Suggestions, Etc

[ViluxLuxi]

Hello all, I'm new to TLI but you might have seen me around as V Luxi, Flaahx Venberos, or Ereda Androtis.

I am considering putting in a package for a herm character, and have done a write up for both description and backstory, meaning this package is character ready. However, After asking a couple questions in OOC some time ago, I decided that I'd put this package up for everyone to look through. So if you have the time to read over, first of all thank you for lending your time to read the fairly extensive write-up I made up, but secondly, feel free to leave any constructive criticism you might have. I'd especially appreciate any input on things to help improve my package before I submit it for approval. Input from those with previous/current approved herm characters and ops is especially welcomed, but everyone is free to leave thoughts on it here.

With all of that out of the way, here is the link to the doc write-up for Abyuri Kiroshi.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/12B5tL5eQbJ6vRT0wHHNUDAazI1PPfQWWbt2evSekGng/edit?usp=sharing

[Goldentiger]

I like it. Its very interesting.