A corked wine bottle bobs up gently against the shore of Thallis port, a somewhat crude piece of parchment laying inside as opposed to the usual contents....
To whoever finds this a reward of 50 mhls for passing this to his Lordship Sha-Ka, a further reward of 25 mhls for not peeking at the contents and a further reward of 25 mhls for not letting any of those bloody women who run around his Lordship know about this -at- all. (the last few words so heavily written the author has seemingly pushed through the paper at some point!)
Your -most- illustrious and beneficent Lordship,
I fear that my little jaunt, which may I remind you was naturally to further your own interests, has come somewhat of a cropper. The vessel I was upon was -most- second rate and was, sadly, prone to leaks to the extent that the concept of said ship remaining above the water was ultimately foreign to it. The demise of the vessel is a tale in itself, made worse by the panic that ensued with the crew.
I ended up utterly soaked as I went down and down again as I and the crew spent seemingly an age thrashing around in a state of high excitement during all of this. They were all over me but thankfully I was able to jerk most them off but at one point, such was the confusion, I found myself -completely -covered in seamen.
Fortunately, and to spare you the sordid details, I was able to make good my escape ending up on some benighted foreign shore although with a totes absence of funds or life's little essentials such as silks, make up, money, servants or wine cellar. Still, I am already proving adaptable and found the -most- charming little man who has agreed to help me. Having washed up on an island my foraging skills have come to the fore, so much so that it seems the chap I've met believes I can turn my hand to making some coin from it. Apparently, so impressive is my foraging from the local flora that not only do I have a "lovely bunch of coconuts" but people will pay money to see them!
Apparently I can get the equivalent of 5 mhls for showing someone my coconuts and -ten- mhls if I let them touch them! Ha! Honestly are people that stupid that it takes a visitor like me to show them what a decent set looks like? Apparently! For it seems that there is even a market for a mere picture of my coconuts! The little man did a sketch the other day which he reckons would sell in the right places - although for some reason it doesn't actually have any of the flora I scavenged in it. Queried on this, he said it was just a teaser which doesn't make much sense for me, but then I'm not really up on the coconut market but assume he knows what he's doing. Although the real money is in me showing my bush. So I suppose I ought to plant one? All most confusing. Popped a copy in with this to see if you can make any sense of it.
Anyhooo! Be assured that I am trying my best to make my way back to civilised shores. Oh and could you be a dear and pay the bearer of this message? Much obliged.
I remain, etc etc
Rebecca