As a gal who spends an awful lot of time in various dungeons and basements for some reason, I thought it might be useful to lay out just what makes a quality dungeon. Standards are -so- very important and if you are the type of a chap or gal who plan on entertaining then you really should put some thought into the entertainment of your guests. After all - no one wants to be the imperfect host now do we?
Service
Great service can lift average dungeon, but a great dungeon can never make up for inept service. The best minions, helpers or guard exhibit a passion for what they do and their aim really should be to ensure that the prisoner in question feels cared about during the stay. Great minions see everything – from the slightest attempt to get free to a faked scream if the guest is trying to feign hurt. They'll also be watching out for the most fleeting expression of disappointment on a prisoner's face in case that last dildo was too small or that last whipping didn't scar. Never intrusive, they'll always wait for an appropriate break in conversation to tell those confined about "specials" and have the sense to stay away if we look like we're having a romantic moment with our host (also known as being raped in some circles but let's not be vulgar). Top shelf staff have a thorough knowledge of the all the impliments available and can explain the use of all them without having to refer to notes. And far from the old snooty stereotype, truly great staff at a truly great dungeon will never as much as lift an eyebrow even if they're asked to bring ice-cubes for your bits or take back a branding iron if it's not heated up to your exact satisfaction.
Decor
The best have a distinct and unique style with features that express what the general ethos of the dungeon is all about. A good ones decor is designed not to date and is appropriate for the location. So, don't go all out on damp walls and spiders and whatnot if your trying to play the civilised host. Equally, if your aiming for that dark lord effect, a comfy bed in a well lit room just won't cut the mustard. The decor should set an appropriate atmosphere that conveys the excitement to come. But whatever you do, don't go overboard on the furnishings. Not only is it slightly declasse but they could well get in the way. And no one wants to trip over their own furniture as you go to shove something up someones' bottom. Especially not the person who owns the bottom!
An appealing menu
The best dungeon menus have been thoroughly checked. And, if you are of a mage inclination, spell-checked! They will be carefully egalitarian and well balanced and not just consist of a list of whatever torture devices are currently on-trend. A great menu has appealing descriptions that are concise but with enough information to know whether the device/method in question is something we might like rather than requiring 20 minutes of description to translate. If your dungeon devices need a user manual, then do take care. Otherwise things may well go in the wrong places! A great dungeon will look for variety and, if close to farmland, can even uses produce in season, to try and give a sense of place and changes often enough to make return visits enticing. I fully recommend the use of ginger root to spice even the dullest visit up.
Perfect timing
The co-ordination in the best dungeons is a well-orchestrated ballet. You should never see your guest kicking her heels (unless she is suspended of course!) or looking at her nails. Rather look to see that the delivery of your tortures is well-spaced and consistent, with enough time for pleasant conversation, leering and the odd threat but never long enough to reach the dangerous stage where your guests try to answer back or turn the tables. Even if there's someone else ready to go on the rack next, a good dungeon will never make you feel you're being hurried and will never, ever bring the bill for your rezzing and healings without being prior agreement.
Spot on sound and lighting
Lighting can have a profound effect on our mood. There's a very fine line between flatteringly low lit and so dark you can't see who is actually torturing you, but great dungeons always get it right, often by employing a professional to figure out how to balance practicality and ambience. They also get the balance of sound right and you'll hear an energising buzz from those dildos and peril based devices as they advance upon you in your helpless state rather than a clamour caused by too many hard surfaces and badly designed spaces that make it impossible to beg and plead over. Cells should be spaced far enough away so you don't overhear the screams of others. Music is always a no-no and should be avoided unless you are torturing a bard.
A good wine list and wine service
This is where so many good dungeons go wrong. Even the best dungeon can find itself slipping down the ratings by the failure to provide a decent claret or, if it does, to make the mistake of serving it in a chilly basement. An issue so overlooked, the absence of a decent wine list can really undermine the whole effect and make your guests wish they had just opted for a run on the slave poles instead where at least the Inn has a reasonable variety.