Legends of Belariath

Cirri

Shadow Dancer Chapter Four

Each day passed slowly as the wolven girl recovered from the injuries that the bullies had bestowed upon her. Nothing mattered to her now but to see those that had hurt her suffer, at least in some part. For a time during the evenings, Rawour disappeared, leaving the girl to her own devices. As she could not go many places, she sat there, watching the fire, learning from the subtle grace of the flames that flickered in the darkness. The amber coals sparkled against her eyes, brightening the gentle features of the young girl. Warmth of the fire spread throughout her body and she stretched out, testing the muscles that had been torn and abused during the attack.

One night, the girl watched as Rawour left, his usual parting words to her to not leave the cave grated against her mind. She became tired of the endless boring stone walls and only wanted to see the skies once more, to feel the rush of the water as she waded through the stream and to listen to the birds as they flew overhead. Loneliness caressed her soul as she sat there, isolated from the world that she loved. After she could no longer hear her father, the girl carefully got up from her position on the rug by the fires and started to explore the once living quarters of her parents. As Cirri and Rawour never used more than the main living area, she had yet to see much of anything that could speak to her about her long dead mother.

I wish you would show me where you are, I know you watch me. Cirri sighed and closed her eyes, praying carefully for a sign that would lead her on her quest for information about her mother. As she finished her prayer, the girl felt the touch of warmth upon her cheek. Almost as if she had been led towards the back of the cave, Cirri noticed that there was a tattered drapery hanging against the wall. She paused, carefully lifting the covering from its resting place. Behind the drapery was a mound of rubble, which seemed to be carefully put in place, as if not from a rock slide, but some loving person had taken the time to position each stone to keep out any unwanted intrusion. Tilting her head to one side, the girl carefully pulled out one of the stones, trying her best to see what was looming within. Nothing but darkness and the deep stench of fear seemed to emanate from the small opening, yet she persevered and tried to wrest another stone from the wall, being careful to not have the wall come crashing down upon herself. With a little more effort, she finally freed enough of the stones to look within and see what possibly could have been locked away for so long.

As she tried to worm her narrow form within the opening, she heard a loud roar of anger as Rawour came crashing within the cave entrance. Soon he pulled the girl from the opening and held her by the scruff of her neck, his eyes blazing deep red with unfathomable rage.

“What are you doing here you stupid child!” He screamed at her while he shook her, not event thinking of her injuries. She looked at him with wide eyed alarm and tried her best to free herself from his grasp.

“I was just looking. I got bored sitting day after day with nothing to do. For some reason this place called out to me and I wanted to see what was inside.” She nearly whimpered, the pain from his grasp sending arrow shafts of agony through her healing body.

He threw her to the ground, pacing back and forth as his tail thrashed behind him. Looking over to the cowered girl child, crying and in pain, the proud warrior stopped and his own heart began to break. The greatest gift his mate could have ever given him and he nearly destroyed it. Moving quickly to the girl’s side, he knelt there and held her in his loving arms, “I am sorry my little one…I am sorry.” He whispered to her over and again as Cirri’s tears fell upon his shoulder.

Confused at what she had done, she looked up into his face. She saw the pain within his own eyes and she whispered softly to him, “What is back there father?”

He closed his eyes, tears streaming down his fur and he trembled, “Your mother.” The two words she never thought to hear, she looked at him in disbelief. Then, seeing the agony within his eyes she looked back at the opening, were the soft light was beginning to shine in. She winced as she tried to pull back enough to look him in the eye and she spoke softly, hoping to not further encourage his rage.

“Please father, may I see her at least once in my life?” Her own tears mirrored his as they locked amber gaze to blue and father and daughter shared a moment of the pain they both were consumed by.

Without a word, Rawour stood up and he led her to the opening, carefully taking down the stones that had stood sentry for so long over the fallen mother. Cirri stood back and she waited, not saying a word, only feeling the deep sadness that radiated from her father. Soon he had removed all the stones and there upon the bed that had held Cirani for so long offered up its prize to the onlookers. Both of the wolven stepped within the room and looked upon the still form of Cirani. It was as if time had done nothing in the past fourteen years and the woman looked as she did the moment she parted this realm for the next.

Moving to the edge of the bed, the young wolven knelt by the bed, her body shaking and tears flowing freely, “Oh mother, I wish…I wish I would have known you for even a moment in time.”

Rawour watched as his daughter knelt, almost going to her, yet he felt the touch of something behind him. Glancing backwards, he saw the shaman and he stiffened. Walking from the room, he joined the shaman in the main room.

“It is almost time.”

“I know.”

“She will be cared for.”

“How?”

“That I cannot tell you Rawour. But she will be safe. I promise you.”

He looked at the woman for a moment and nodded, knowing that she had always been there for him. Looking back at his girl child, he sighed, “I will miss her, even if she is more trouble than she is worth.”

“But she will have something greater than you or I to do.”

He closed his eyes, nodding his head once as he listened. All these months were in preparation for what he knew would be his last. Nothing mattered to him but to the safety of his child, the girl who had traversed so much and yet had conquered almost every obstacle placed with in her path.

Cirri became lost within the memories of her mother that only those who had known her told her. Of the woman’s childhood, the stories of how she met Rawour, all the tales her foster mother had shared with her in the darkness of night by the fires. Soon she felt the emotional drain of the ordeal and Cirri’s head fell upon the bed and she began sleeping. As she slept the hand of Cirani shifted, lightly brushing up against the girl’s cheek and then the body disappeared, as if it was never there.

Rawour waited until the shaman had once again left before looking within the tomb he had created. He watched as his girl felt into the grasp of slumber. His eyes widened as he saw the hand move, yet he did not go nearer to the bed, only watched as the body melted into nothingness. He felt the brush of lips against his and then he saw before him the vision of beauty that had been so long absent from his life, yet never his heart or soul.

“My love…”

She looked at him and smiled sadly, reaching up with her hand to lightly touch his cheek, “I have only but a moment my dear. I have a journey that I must take before we are ready to join one another for eternity.”

He shook his head no, not wanting her to leave him once again, the pain and torture of this brief encounter as almost pain-filled as the day that she was stolen from him.

“No….” He spoke softly and tried to reach for him, yet as he put his hand up to her cheek, she faded with a parting smile, softened by the years.

“I love you Rawour, be strong.” She whispered into the wind as she faded from his sight.

Falling to the ground, he held tightly to the sight of her one more time and he watched his girl sleep there in the empty room. As the night sky darkened into the depths of evening, he stood vigil over his daughter, wishing that he had not been such a fool. He thought of all that he had missed while he had absented himself from her life. Lessons not easily taught to the strong warrior, yet now he knew them and his heart ached for the moments that he had left with his girl.

As dawn arose from her slumber, Rawour continued to watch as Cirri finally woke. He stood up and spoke sternly, “You are ready to go out again. You will not longer have to stay in the cave.”

She looked at him and smiled, standing up from where she had fallen asleep. Cirri looked back and noticed that the body was gone and tilted her head slightly, wondering what had happened. Before she could utter a single word, Rawour came up to and placed her in his gentle embrace. A soft pet of her back and he looked down at the small girl.

“Do not worry little one. The spirits saw fit to take her from us once more. She is safe I assure you.”

Confused, Cirri only nodded and then pulled from him, wanting to run from the cave. She smiled and felt the sun kiss her cheeks. Running towards the creek, she laughed and enjoyed the new found freedom after her long confinement.

Rawour watched as she ran merrily through the glade. His daughter seemingly so innocent in many ways. He wondered how well she would fair once the pain and trials began for her. Moving down out of the cave, he heard something calling out and before he knew what was happening a large arctic cat came off of the ledge above the cave and attacked his body. He roared with pain as the claws raked down his back and Cirri quickly turned, watching in horrid fascination as her father entangled himself with in the large ferocious beast.

There was nothing that the girl could do but keep her gaze locked upon the scene as it unfolded. She had no weapon to attack and she was too weak to be of any use to the warrior. Running towards him as the cat’s large jaws enveloped Rawour’s neck, Cirri thought that she could not again lose another in her life. Rawour watched her come close as his pain wracked body screamed at him. He knew he had to do something before she too was lost.

“Get from here girl NOW!” He screamed and then he tumbled with the beast, letting them both fall to the lower ground, hoping to keep the cat from seeing the other prey. Cirri stifled her cry with her fist and she ran from the glade, hurrying past the stream and deep into the forest. She ran until she could not breathe any longer. Falling to the ground, she curled up, sobbing uncontrollably while she had abandoned her father to the beast.

What seemed like house crawled past her as she lay there, afraid to even move. At last she sat up, hearing the sounds of evening fall upon her sensitive ears. Looking around, she noted that darkness had once again fall. She carefully made her way towards the opening of the forest, looking in the shadows to see if her father had been victorious. As she moved closer, she noticed that the cat was gone, yet only the crimson stain upon the grass marked her father. Finding the tooth necklace upon the ground and what little was left of her father; she knelt there, looking up to the sky, angry tears pouring out of her eyes.

“WHY? Why did you have to abandon me too!” She held the necklace to her and she sobbed, wishing that pain would take her as it had taken all that she held dear. Bereft of companionship, of anything, Cirri felt only anguish as she sat there alone. A sound in the darkness made her turn and she stood up, her eyes whirling with anger and she saw that the three who had attacked her stood there with what looked like her father. Both sides of the war faced each other wordlessly as they held up the body of the fallen hunter and warrior.

“We will take him to rest.” As the spoke those soft words, they turned from her, moving off into the darkness to leave her with only one path. A path she did not wish to make because she knew it would end in hardship.

Instead of going back to the village, Cirri watched them for a long moment and then she turned and ran. Leaving be hind the depths of winter’s nightmare, she continued to run for days, making sure to only stop briefly for small sustenance to keep her fueled and going. Each day left her with a little more pain in her heart and more isolation. Cirri did not care if she lived or died; only taking measures not to be seen in her flight from the land that was her birth.

Starving and worn out, Cirri at last came to a small clearing that held a tiny cottage. She looked at it from the shadows and then she stepped closer, wanting to have at least a moment of peace. As she moved into the clearing, the days of running caught up to her and she stepped slowly, falling to her knees and then dropping into oblivion.

Waking up to the smells of something unfamiliar, Cirri looked around and noted that she was inside of the cottage, laying on what seemed like a bed. She sat up and glanced around, wondering who had brought her inside and she saw a figure in the shadows.

“So you have finally decided to rejoin me have you?” The voice was feminine, yet it did not have the typical edge that the rest of her kind had upon it. The figure was short, even as short as herself and Cirri thought that perhaps this was another runt, a throwback of the pack that had sought out distant lands as well.

“Well I thought it would be kind to at least meet my host.” Cirri said with a bit of a growl. She did not understand what was going on, so she decided to do her best to relax under the situation and keep herself under control.

The woman chuckled softly, a mirthy sound that filled the small room. “Well then it is good that you listened so well and are being a gracious guest I suppose.” Stepping into the light, the woman smiled at Cirri.

Before Cirri stood a strange person the likes she had never seen before. The woman was devoid of all fur and she had no tail either. Instead the woman had a long mane of black hair behind her and rather pale skin. Blinking at the sight, Cirri sat up, trying to gauge what was going on.

“What are you?”

The woman looked at the girl and chuckled, “I am a human silly child. Have you not seen one before?”

Cirri remembered the tales of the other races from the village teachers, yet she had never thought she would espy any of them. Looking at the woman for a moment, she tried to fathom how different she looked from the others of her own kind.

“You have no fur, how do you stay warm?”

“That is simple, I wear clothing to protect me.” She moved closer, clad in a simple tunic and trousers. “They keep me warm enough.”

“But that seems so weak.” Cirri looked at the clothes for a moment and the shrugged, “I suppose since you are so small you have to do what you need to in order to survive.”

The woman looked at her and laughed again, “I suppose so.” The woman watched Cirri for a moment or two and then she smiled, moving closer and offering her hand, “I am Varizina.”

“Cirri.” Was the only thing that the wolven said, watching to see if this Varizina would attack her.

“Well that is a lovely name. So, why are you here?” She spoke softly and sat down upon the stool, picking up some knitting and working with the yarn while she waited for Cirri to tell her what was going on.

“I wanted a change of scenery.” Cirri shuffled and looked away, really not wanting to tell this woman anything.

“I see. Well I am sure this will be different than you are used too. You are from further up north, I am sure you will find it a little warmer down here.”

Cirri watched Varizina carefully, noting how easily the woman relaxed and became at ease.

“I suppose so. But I won’t be here for long.”

The woman looked at Cirri and chuckled, “Of course not. You just need to get healed from those wounds and such of yours.”

“They are healed just fine.”

“Of course they are. Why don’t you just get up and walk from here. That way I can see how strong you are.”

“Fine, I will.” Cirri threw the covers off of her and she did her best to stand up, yet when the pulled her legs over the side of the bed and stood, she felt weakness overtake her once again and she ended up falling once more upon the bed.

The woman chuckled softly and yet she did not lift her gaze from her needlework, “Are you still here? I thought you were leaving me.”

“I am!” Cirri growled, trying her best to menace the human that taunted her. Cirri struggled once more to stand up, hoping that she could do something, anything to prove that she was not as weak as this woman thought of her. Once again she fell back upon the bed and she growled, forcing herself up from the bed and standing weakly before the woman. She was only about six feet in height, still rather dminiuative in comparison to others of her kind for her age.

“You will want something to eat at least before you go will you not?” Varizina glanced up at the wolven, making no comment about how the girl struggled to keep standing.

“I am not hungry.” As she spoke her stomach betrayed her and rumbled loud enough to be heard across the room.

“Of course you aren’t. But perhaps you can humour an old woman and share a meal with her?”

Cirri watched her for a moment and then she crossed her arms over her chest, “I suppose I could do that at least in the interest of being polite.”

“Yes that would be polite at least.” The woman stood up and put her needlework down, moving with ease past Cirri, yet not touching her. Making her way into the kitchen area, Varizina stirred the pot of stew that was on the fire, not even bothering to look at Cirri’s struggle to walk the five feet to the table.

Cirri watched for a moment and she stepped carefully, each step aching her sore and tired muscles. She had not fully recovered from the beating when she made her way down through the wilderness to bring her here, half starved. She did not look anywhere but at the table that she sought, a chance to rest her body while she let the pain subside. Continuing to keep her eyes upon the woman, Cirri made her way there and sat down, her own stubborn pride keeping her from collapsing and crying in front of the stranger. Knowing that she much not show weakness, she sat there, her back straight against the chair.

“It will only be a moment. I suppose you cannot help me get any bowls out of the cupboard.”

Cirri looked at the woman, a flash of anger appearing in her eyes at the request. After trying her best just to survive until she got to the table, the wolven girl shuddered with the pain and then got up once more, heading to the small cupboard slowly, each agonizing step thudding in her mind. It did not take long for her to get to the shelf where the bowls were, but she really wanted to cry out from the pain. Silent, she moved back, setting the bowls down.

“Anything else you would like?” She snarled at the woman, her limbs trembling with the exertion. Varizina looked at her and smiled, giving a curt nod.

“Yes, some spoons would be helpful. Please get them from that drawer.” She chuckled softly and continued to get the meal ready, watching the girl out of the corner of her eye.

With a shake of her head, Cirri got the spoons, putting them on the table neatly. She shuddered and could not stand any longer. Sitting down at last she let out a soft sigh of relief. Varizina did nothing or made no comment about the girl’s state, she only poured the stew into the bowls, sitting down calmly and began to eat.

Following the older woman’s example, Cirri started to eat the stew and she wrinkled her nose, “What is this???” She looked in near disgust at the woman.

“It is stew. Eat.”

“It is…gooey.”

“Eat.”

“I don’t want to eat this.’

“Then you are not a good guest.”

Cirri sighed and she started to eat some of the stew, growling under her breath as she let her gaze wander back and forth from the bowl to the woman who ate her portion heartily. Shaking her head, she tried her best to relax and eat the stew, getting used to the different tastes from wild game in her mouth.

After they were finished with the meal, Varizina cleaned up the dishes and she spoke, not even bothering to look at the girl. “You seem to lack direction. I think you should stay here and heal. I will not take charity so you will work off your healing. Starting tomorrow.”

Watching the older woman carefully, Cirri thought about it. She was tired of running and thought that this was as good of a place as any to rest until she could find better accommodations.

“Tomorrow then.”

Varizina nodded, “Then you better rest because tomorrow you will start your recovery and I am sure you will need your sleep.” She chuckled softly and dismissed Cirri, who was left standing there for only the briefest moments before she returned once more up to the room she had woken in.

This is going to be very interesting. I wonder if this is where I am supposed to be. She looked out the window above her bed to the night sky and she sighed, seeing that bright star once more. Touching the star crest upon her breast, she felt a single tear caress down her cheek. She knew that somehow her mother and father were looking out after her, yet she only felt the pain and anger of being left once more behind in the back of her mind. Nothing seemed permanent to the young girl and she feared that she would not survive this latest ordeal.

BACK