Miranda's song book

[Miranda]

Um...

Luci - the Farmer's daughter

She was only the farmer's daughter;
but she had a lovely pear!
Big and round and juicy;
You couldn't help but stare.
And anyone seeing Luci,
ran straight over to her;
To get their hands on the farmer's daughter,
and her juicy pear!

Now Luci was the daughters name,
Happy and full of song;
She'd even make you breakfast,
Just don't ask where the milk came from!
A mighty orchard Luci grew,
to fill the people's tums;
And any fruit she'd pop into her mouth,
But her fav was a pair of plums.

She was only the farmer's daughter;
but she had a lovely pear!
Big and round and juicy;
You couldn't help but stare.
And anyone seeing Luci,
ran straight over to her;
To get their hands on the farmer's daughter,
and her juicy pear!

So much acreage she had,
she had workers on her land;
and if she saw them them ache and stiff
she'd go give them a hand!
Lots of fences to mend on a farm
Things to repair and do;
And any one who worked under her
knew she liked a good tight screw.

She was only the farmer's daughter;
but she had a lovely pear!
Big and round and juicy;
You couldn't help but stare.
And anyone seeing Luci,
ran straight over to her;
To get their hands on the farmer's daughter,
and her juicy pear!

Curvy Luci had been working hard,
was that a thinning of her thigh?
Her concerned workers gathered around,
and gave her a dozen creampies...
Now Luci liked to paint the birds,
but birds are hard to follow;
So she thought it grand if she nabbed a Shag,
or had done lots of Cocks and Swallows.

She was only the farmer's daughter;
but she had a lovely pear!
Big and round and juicy;
You couldn't help but stare.
And anyone seeing Luci,
ran straight over to her;
To get their hands on the farmer's daughter,
and her juicy pear!

Into town Luci did ride,
she choose the roughest path.
And the men that saw her handle it,
all wanted to ride her ass.
"But why take the rough road,
You bounce on your saddle and sway?"
She says "I always take the rough road
as I always come this way!"

She was only the farmer's daughter;
but she had a lovely pear!
Big and round and juicy;
You couldn't help but stare.
And anyone seeing Luci,
ran straight over to her;
To get their hands on the farmer's daughter,
and her juicy pear!

[Tehya]

[Sorgram]

That should be recorded somewhere.



S.

[Miranda]

Thanksees both!

Oddly Sorg I was half tempted to try and sing this one!

[Miranda]

War

A small song about the valiant heroes who recently defended the empire!

Our nobles are so brave, so bold;
Our enemies they hunt.
Although they do it by sipping drinks
in a tent ten miles from the front!

But it's tricky work there you know
The decisions that must be made *sucks teeth*
The grand strategy calls to make;
With lunch? Wine or lemonade?

Ah the empire always wins;
The empire never falls
The people and our enemies
The nobles fuck 'em all.

Red brocade, green or blue?
Stockings, blouse or dress?
Should the knickers match the bra?
And that's the blokes getting dressed!

Well they want to look their best you see
Dress well and show no fear!
It always pays to be prepared
to get attacked from the rear!

Ah the empire always wins;
The empire never falls
The people and our enemies
The nobles fuck 'em all.

[Miranda]

How Miranda died

A tragic song about romance, jealousy and sneaky elves attacking innocent singers!

I was sat in the Inn one night
With me new girly by my side
When in comes this green haired witch
looking to commit bard-icide

She looked at me with lusty greed
and my girl with jealousy
So I told my girl not to worry
and patted her on her knee.

We talked and laughed and drank a lot
Whilst the elf stayed at the bar
But when I went to kiss me girl
for the elf it was a step too far

"Stop" she said "or you'll be dead"
I laughed right in her face
For although me girl was anothers
I'd planned to go back to my place

Me girl was already stripping off
as we started to shag on her coat
then the elf snuck up to me
and went and cut me throat!

The last things I saw as I went down
was the elf's look of pity
Well that and the more comforting one
of someone's concubines titties!

[Miranda]

The song for L's sing-a-long

including the verse and chorus I dropped to keep posts tight

So who we 'ave, this empire lot?
Lemme list them one by one
I won't mention old SB
I've done 'im once in song.
So gals first or the boys?
In what order should I verse?
Fookin easy that, y'know
We all know blokes come first.

Well first theres Morgan Drakewing,
so caring and so kind
Yet every gal that's met him
Know he's after their behind!
Pretty girls he offers jobs
for the honour, not be paid
and if they go along with him
he'll dress them as a maid!

So of the people of the empire
I've now sung one in ten
And now I've finished that verse?
Let's go round again!

Lord Matwyn is the man to catch
A ladies man he is
and he ain't fussy!
He'll shag any passing Miss.
He likes to show his skills in bed
And demonstrate his power!
And with the right refreshing spells
He can get through 46 an hour!

So of the people of the empire
I've now sung two in ten
And now I've finished that verse?
Let's go round again!

There is that Kir whatisface
A man that should be feared
Well not the man himself of course
But what he might have hidden in his beard
Now Kir has a slave called Kree
And his love for her is certain
And with those hoops along her back
At night she doubles up as curtains!

*chorus*

Judge and jury over us
Scathian's his name
To end up in front of 'im
really is a shame.
And Callie of the CVC,
her cookings very bold!
Ere! they could get together
and serve justice hot and cold.

*chorus*

Inn's owned by Ehlanna
A Sylvian of pure blood
She goes down to the forest
To ensure she gets lots of wood!
They say that if yer naughty,
Yours knickers she will fine
Cobblers! I've been bad once or twice,
and I 've still got sodding mine!

*chorus*

The lady L`aquera
They say she's as pretty as can be
It's true you know, I've seen her
and she can still pass for 43.
But that is in the right light
so yer can't see her thinning hair
And parts of the body age the more their used
So her cunts twice as old as her!

*chorus*

Now we come to my last verse
How do I end this song?
I'm gunna talk about the many
and not about the one.
Them mages in the towers
Doing things all through the night
Ere' they say that wanking makes your blind....
Note they've all got bad eyesight!

So of the people of the empire
I've now sung ten in ten
And now I've finished that little verse?
I'll bugger off again!

[Miranda]

The other song for L's sing-a-long
.
Two slavegirls on the go
It's a nightmare scen-ario
Two slave girls in my bed
If I keep this up - I will be dead!
.
Two's two many; One's not enough
I've only one tongue and two sets of muffs
I've got two slavegirls on the go
and this is my tale of woe.
.
It seemed a good idea at the time
The height of ecstasy I would climb
Now now the bed is full of tits
and I don't think I can handle it!
.
One's alright, two is too much
Especially when the second one is a bit butch
I've got two slavegirls on the go
It's a nightmare scenario
.
On paper it sound so much fun
But where to start when there's two sets of bums
They're so greedy and so fast
I really don't think I will last!
.
Ones just fine, two is wrong
which is why I ended up singing this song
Two slavegirls on the go
and my energy is getting low!
.
So much flesh everywhere
It's getting to the point where I just don't care
I should have settled down with a book
Instead of going for this althetic fuck!

So if you the same idea as me?
Forget it and go for a cup of tea.
Cos two slavegirls on the go?
It's a nightmare scenario!

[Miranda]

*blows dust off book and sings...*

Sleeping in the wet spot

Let me tell you a tale of woe;
A story of horror and fright;
Oh don't you see?
That for a girl like me;
I have the same problem every night.

For I'm sleeping in the wet spot again;
Yes I'm sleeping in the damp patch again!
Oh it is no fun;
Sleeping on a soggy bum;
Oh I'm sleeping on the wet spot again.

Many a man I gave a run;
Me trust in blokes really has died.
For they'd look me in the eye,
As they came between my thighs.
And then go and roll onto their side!

Now I'm sleeping in the wet spot again;
Yes I'm sleeping in the damp patch again!
Oh it is no fun;
Sleeping on a soggy bum;
Oh I'm sleeping on the wet spot again.

Girls I thought could be the cure.
That would make my problem better!
Was odd, sex with no cocks,
But at least no smell of socks;
But..fuck...that wet spot just ended up much wetter!

And I'm sleeping in the wet spot again;
Yes I'm sleeping in the damp patch again!
Oh it is no fun;
Sleeping on a soggy bum;
Oh I'm sleeping on the wet spot again.

That was it! I give up!
Sex with others really has peaked!
I just can't handle it.
I'll just fiddle with my bits;
And then it rains....and me sodding roof leaks!

So! I'm sleeping in the wet spot again;
Yes I'm sleeping in the damp patch again!
Oh it is no fun;
Sleeping on a soggy bum;
Oh I'm sleeping on the wet spot again.

[Miranda]

The catgirl song

A woman's wife is full of pain;
a vale of tears and pity;
To be a girl in this empire...
..is let's face it - rather shitty

If I could choose what would I be?
A man - no not a chance!
But a different race?
With a different face?
My sorrow that could lance"

So I'd be....

Chorus
"A catgirl, a catgirl, a catgirl I would be.
An easy life upon my back is the one for me.
"A catgirl, a catgirl, a life of so much fun.
Except the times when it goes wrong..
..and they shove things up your bum!"

Oh they have it easy;
Which for them is rather apt.
For easy is their middle name!
Your cock they'll happily whack (off!)

Man or woman
Friend or foe
They really just don't care
Their only worry afterwards
is how to clean their fur!

Chorus
A catgirl, a catgirl, a catgirl I would be.
An easy life upon my back is the one for me.
A catgirl, a catgirl, a life of so much fun.
Except the times when it goes wrong..
..and they shove things up your bum!"

Useful skills I would pick up
my knowledge growing wider
Not just their knowledge that gets stretched
but what they can fit in their vagina!

No enemies
A welcome sight
Keen and eager just to please
Just say they word and they will,
drop down on their knees!

Chorus
A catgirl, a catgirl, a catgirl I would be.
An easy life upon my back is the one for me.
A catgirl, a catgirl, a life of so much fun.
Except the times when it goes wrong..
..and they shove things up your bum!"

Playful and so lusty
They don't know the word "No!"
Just give them a quick rinse out afterwards
and they're good to go!

Sensuous
Not powerful
Danger they will flee
Though who cares 'bout heroics?
When you can just cum with me!

Chorus
A catgirl, a catgirl, a catgirl I would be.
An easy life upon my back is the one for me.
A catgirl, a catgirl, a life of so much fun.
Except the times when it goes wrong..
..and they shove things up your bum!"

[Miranda]

The magic user song

A song about those brave artists of the dark arts...

I am a magic user I, a fine mage indeed;
And secrets now I will tell,
and so you should pay heed!
The ladies and the gents who cast;
The one who fill you with dread?
The thing you must remember is...
....we're all terrible in bed!

Oh it's true y'know, would -I- lie to you?
Not a single mage out of us
could give you a thrill.
Not even two or three!
Or even five or six or more
Cos sexings with a magic user is
..... really such a bore!

Why do you think we need magic anyway? Because we think it's fun?
Nah we use it mainly to cover up,
the spots upon our bum!
It's not like we're attractive
and can find ouselves a shag
Not without loads of potions and...
... a bloody strong ring-gag!

Change self and seductress spells
have become our bestest friend
at least with them we can leave the towers
and our celibacy end!
It's not as though we'd shag each other now
We're not the hottest stuff
Hell, the blokes even wear a blindfold when...
...they go to toss one off!

So remember this oh friend of mine.
Don't say you ain't been warned!
Go to boff a spellcaster
and your lost evening you will mourn.
A damp squib most literally
whether with it's with a girl or a boy
You want a good night with one of us, well...
...get us to enchant you a sextoy!


um...*checks her rezz funds - again!*

[Stormbringer]

Endlessly creative

[Miranda]

Why thankees *curtsies*

Although if I'm honest I'd say more "endless" than "creative" . I do rather bang on....

[Stormbringer]

"Sleeping in the wet spot"

Try the cowgirl position

[Miranda]

*laughs* and do all the work too?

But that does give me an idea for another song........